The thing about deadlines...

is that the self imposed kind are very hard to keep.

I've been working on a paper for awhile, it may have appeared in other posts referring to the difficult time I've been having with my collaborators. We planned to have it done by June 1st. Then there was a visit from some other collaborators and a mini-course to teach, so it was July 1st, which came and went, then I knew I was going on vacation and so I gave myself a hard deadline of the end of the summer. Paper ready to submit by August 30th. That is today you might note, and as you probably guessed, the paper is not ready to submit.

It's not that I've been neglecting it, or slacking or anything like that. I've been working on it, working hard on it. All the text is there, nice intro, justification, lit review, data description, and then bam. A big fat empty results section. Numbers have been crunched, plots have been made, but there are some problems, and things I don't understand that have required...well let's just say a lot of work, including contact with the manufacturer of the equipment to reprocess the data from scratch, and lot's of waiting for decisions/opinions from my co-authors. And yet, I still have no results. I don't think that there really is anything more to say about this project. We've already published 2 papers on it, and a 3rd is under review. So, I have decided to abandon this particular paper, and move on. That was my answer to the hard deadline, no point beating a dead horse, count it as lessons learned, etc, but time to move on. I made my peace with it.

But, whoa, collaborators don't like this, suddenly there is help, there are opinions, there are thoughts on changing the focus, blah blah. Thoughts that are all three months behind. Thoughts and ideas that I have visited, and revisited and I'm entirely sure will lead to nowhere on a third visit. There is a let's give it one more month kind of attitude. I want to scream.

When does my opinion as a scientist get to count? When does my career path get to become my decision? I'm well aware that as a post-doc I'm supposed to be publishing papers like mad, but that doesn't mean I'm going to write a sucky one just for the sake of it. I also understand that the post-doc is that in-between stage were you still need "some" guidance, but .... hrrumph.

knitting warning

Totally forgot in the last post: BEWARE knitting can be dangerous.

Those skinny metal dpns that some people use for socks will most definitely pierce through multiple layers of skin. Kind of like a giant metal sliver. Do not, I repeat, DO Not put them anywhere they can possibly be stepped on.

Not a pleasant feeling, I don't think it will scar or anything, but if you are looking for a way to freak out your husband, this might be it. "Honey can you come remove the knitting needle from my foot?"

Knitting

Today I'm going to talk about knitting. No, this is not because my brain is like a sieve and I can't think of anything else to talk about. I made a handy dandy list in my handy dandy PDA and have a whole series of blog posts lined up. Today I just feel like talking about knitting. I had a not so great day at school and knitting is therapeutic for me so that's what we are going to talk about. If you think that's boring, you can stop reading now, if not go on...

I have decided to *mostly* subscribe to a practice of knitting monogamy. This stemmed from the realization that I had 10 no 11, no 12 different projects going on at once. 6 of which were socks. Three of which are destined to be frogged. So my new theory is that for every big project I finish I must complete one pair of socks in progress. This should cut my UFO count down quite a bit, but I can still start a new "big" project for everyone I finish. I know the math doesn't work out, but it makes me feel better. Projects like Ellen's afghan are so big they are an exempt to the rule, and there will always be one pair of socks in the car for travel knitting. So, maybe it's not really going to cut down the numbers, but since I've been subscribing to this new monogamous way of life things are getting done. The socks from the last post were the first pair to get out of the queue (just 5 and a half more socks to knit!!). A blanket for nephew to be popped out just before them (full disclosure-it still needs end weaving and blocking, but I count it as done!). Before that it was the toddler size sweater for said nephew:

So, I felt that all the finishing allowed for the thrill of a new beginning. IN WOOL. After knitting with cotton, which is tough on my wrists, acrylic, which I usually just find icky, and bamboo, which was a new fiber experience and not as enjoyable as I was hoping (there's something weird about knitting bamboo yarn on bamboo needles don't you think?), I was in desperate need of wool. I love wool. So I planned to start on Rogue which I totally adore, and started once before but the wool was too bulky so I made something else, and bought different yarn to do, but it needed to wound into a ball and my fingers were craving wool too much to spend time dragging out the swift. So this is what has popped on and off my needles since late Friday afternoon:

It is the back to Kate Gilbert's Sunrise Circle Jacket in Filatura Di Crosa Primo, color 267, that I got at the Webs tent sale early in the summer. It is a really pretty ice blue that the picture doesn't do justice. I was a little worried, because even though I love the sweater, my last flirtation with a KG pattern was not a success. I still might be the only knitter in the universe that does not own a clapotis. In retrospect I probably should have started with one of the fronts since that's were the interest and therefore the difficultly would be, but I have this concrete sequential way of doing things and the pattern starts with the back so I made the back. I like the pattern so far, especially the turned up hem detail. But, man, it's curly. I'm going to spray block the back before I do the seaming, but I think it's going to need a full on severe blocking when the whole thing is through.

This is the fastest I have ever completed any piece of a sweater. I don't feel that I knit a lot this weekend. In fact, I know one contiguous 10 hour chunk of Saturday was taken up by reading Harry Potter cover to cover, so I couldn't have knit that much. Maybe I'm just getting faster. I guess that stands to reason.

So there it is, I'm down to 10 WIPs. So what did I do? Exactly what you would think. I volunteered to be a test knitter for this pattern. I've never been a test knitter before. Before ravelry, I didn't have enough contact with other knitters to see the process in any stage other than a finished pattern. I think the tank is absolutely gorgeous and I'm really excited to knit it. So I did some swatches from a couple of odd balls I had lying around, and picked one I loved, and ordered up enough to do the tank. I'm waiting *patiently* for it to arrive. And yes, it's mostly wool :). Ok, so being honest 11 WIPs. Maybe I'll just try to keep it under a dozen.

So that's what I've been up to. Harry Potter and obsessive knitting. Welcome to my version of escapism.

I should blog about...

I have that thought at least once a week. What comes after the ellipsis is quite varied. Sometimes it's about my academic life, sometimes it's about my knitting, sometimes it's just random stuff. But the thought always occurs at a time when I'm not near my blog. Driving my car, on the machine at the gym, or any place else that's not blogging conducive. By the time I find uninterrupted time to sit at the computer, like now, the beautifully composed blog entry has flown from my mind never to be retrieved again, and my brain seems to be somewhat akin to a student just caught asleep in class. "Um, um, could you repeat the question please..." But, it's been a long time since I blogged so I thought maybe something would just flow today. I'm sorry if it bores you, we'll see where it goes.

That's always been the problem with my brain. It works too fast. It's a little like mental ADD, but without that annoying symptom of not finishing a task (knitting basket doesn't count here) Sometimes it's great, sometimes it's not. I've solved most of my most frustrating data problems in the shower, and have been known to sit down at the computer dripping wet testing out my "inspiration". For awhile I kept a notebook with me at all times and would try to jot down my thoughts, but the notes would get lost, or where to cryptic to decipher. Days later I'd find myself wondering what something like "morning darker yellow" meant, and what aspect of my life it could possibly relate too. And bam we're there. One of things I thought I should blog about. My new toy.

I love all things organizy. Always have. I was severely depressed when the Franklin Covey closed it's local store, but the internet saved me. I have a system. I have a planner, which I use pretty reliably for ~10 years now. I went the electronic route once before, about 6 years ago, I had a Palm M125. I know it's pretty old school now, but it was hip then. I loved it. I used it all the time...when I remembered to change the batteries that is. After a solid 3 years of use it just wasn't hacking it anymore, I was carrying both it and a paper planner and the palm just went away. Mostly because it did not have the ability to categorize my to do list. DH's handspring something or other did, I was jealous, we thought about switching, thought about buying a new one, but decided to spend the money on an ipod instead. Palm went in the drawer. I revisited the issue every 6 months or so, but the new ones all seemed to cost more then I was willing to spend at the time and didn't seem to have the features I wanted. Then there was the debate as to wether or not I just wanted a treo for my next phone, did I really want to be that connected, was it really necessary, blah blah.

Well, I've been in a bit of an academic funk lately. My lists weren't working, I felt generally disorganized, unhappy with life, etc. Like I just didn't have a direction. There are a million reasons for this, all worthy of their own blog posts someday, but I'm rambling enough as it is. So after wasting a couple of days comparing all available PDAs on the market, I took the plunge and bought one. I LOVE IT. The color screen makes a huge difference. To-dos can be categorized, alarms set, big improvements have been made. I can get on the internet at any wireless hot spot (so all over campus!) Word and excel work like word and excel without the total loss of formatting I always experienced in version 1.0 of that software. Bluetooth hotsyncing so there are no extra cables. A rechargeable battery that so far hasn't needed a new charge (~1 week for you geeky types). I'm not entirely out of the funk yet, but I feel like I'm getting there. I did actually accomplish several things this week, and I'm finally moving forward on a couple of papers that have been languishing in limbo, so maybe it's coincidence or maybe it helped. I guess I'll never know!

Ok, so it's a truely random blog post, about something no one cares about, but typing something makes me feel better already. Funk seems to be clearing all around. :)

And because it's friday and because posts are boring without pictures, here's something I knit:

Etsy

Well. I FINALLY got around to putting some items in the etsy shop. My sister and I used to make and sell earrings, but were never able to get up enough inventory/time to do craft shows regularly. I found about 20 pairs still hanging around, so etsy it is. There are six pairs up now (most are hers, I was more the organizer and she was more the maker, several are mine though) , and maybe I'll get some more up later in the week.

edited: Email me or leave a comment with you're email if you're interested in seeing the shop. The username is less anonymous then I'd like my online profile to be (thanks for the reminder kate :) ) And earlier I was being too lazy to notice. So the next batch will be up under a different store name. Check back next week. For now, here are the pictures of what's for sale:

On being humbled

Last week I had one of the scariest hours of my academic life. I am supervising a new graduate student who will be continuing some of my research and therefore using a lot of the data processing codes I wrote during my graduate career. He's at the point where he's just starting to learn how to convert the raw binary files to ascii and make pictures of the data. Not a quantitative analysis, but a qualitative one that really gives a good feel for the quality of the data, and what types of analysis you might want to do. He is also using the instrument in a new manner than we have in the past and so this step is crucial to understanding the different data format. Well...his pictures were all squished up. We went through all the possibilities, all the parts where his data could be different than mine, plotted, replotted, and all signs were pointing to a bug in the code. My code. The code I have used FOR EVERYTHING I HAVE PUBLISHED TO DATE. I started to feel sick to my stomach and sent him to lunch. For about an hour, I sat, I drew pictures, I checked the math, I checked the code, I plugged in my good data, I panicked and I forced back tears. It really was there, it was a bug, and it was wrong. The number of thoughts that rush through your head in a moment like that can't be counted. What was I going to do. Managing a McDonald's was becoming a real option. But how, my images weren't squished, my values were all right, they agreed with the physical setup of the field site, how could I have missed it, how could we all have missed it. After several deep breaths I shuffled over to my advisor's office and muttered out a "we have a problem", although the words weren't necessary because the look on my face was enough for him to say "what's wrong?" at the exact same time. We talked through it and he laughed at me. "Everyone needs and ego check now and then". Turns out the "bug" in relation to my data causes a maximum 4% error, in most of my papers it's really more like a 2% error. Making my maximum error of < 2 meters in an instrument with a 2.5 meter resolution. So, no mistake. Biggest sigh of relief ever. The error compounds at larger measurement angles, a 90% error at the angles of the new data...hence the squishing. Ego checked.

After that fiasco I came home and knit. It always calms me. Well, the stars must have been misaligned that day, because I cast on for a new project without checking the gauge. I've been burnt by this before so I typically check, but it was for a baby sweater, and you cast on just about as many stitches for a gauge swatch as you do for the project, so I thought what the hell. I knit a few rows and measured the gauge, it was about right, so off I went. Well about right is not right. On the left we have a the peapod sweater I knit for my soon to arrive nephew (still needs blocking and buttons) It is sized for ~3 months. The same age I was shooting for with the one on the right.

It was supposed to be a shower gift for friends that are having a baby in October. I was on a baby kick, so when the invitation came, I figured I could churn one out in time. Now it will be for little nephew to grow into. It's cotton so he should get use out of it during some season. Shower gift from the registry was delivered today.

Ego checked, and rechecked. Tell me, was I starting to get cocky? The universe seemed to think so. I was unaware.

"Just be nice"

I saw that on a bumper sticker today, and it had the opposite effect than what I think was intended. It made me very sad that people need to be reminded to "just be nice". I mean really, is that such a hard concept that we need bumper stickers proclaiming it. Then I remembered the time I was violently cut off by a car with the vanity plate "NO SOUL", and I realized that we do need to be reminded to "just be nice".

I think I'm more sensitive to this issue after returning from vacation. My vacation was FABULOUS. I mean who can complain with sunsets like this:

And mountain views like this:

But the real star of the trip were the people. People from many different cultures, but always with an infectious smile. People who live in conditions most American's find unbeleivable. No shoes, no electricity, no walls on the outside of the houses. People who are happier than anyone I know. No worries about being nice there. They know nothing different. They live in communities that help each other out. They live multi-generationally in one home. They welcome 20+ strangers for surprise visits into their homes. I think that we could learn something from this culture that we consider "under-developed" and "poor". They are richer than we will ever be.

Ok, off the soapbox. The trip was wonderful. Spending time with my father was wonderful. Seeing a new part of the world was wonderful. Forgetting I owned a cell phone and laptop was wonderful. I have billions of pictures and a gagillion good memories, and I feel great about all of it. If you ever have the chance to visit Peru, do it. Go on the Amazon, meet the people. Go see Macchu Pichhu and form you're own theories. Experience life!