I got alot of encouragement about Monday's post, and I thank everyone for that. I have been keeping track and I thought that I might try to do a weekly(ish) update on the life of a new tenure track faculty. This is partly because I think the whole exercise will be good for me and partly because I think it might be good for others.
So here we go, week 1. Good (2), Bad (1), OK (2).
Overall the week was more good than bad, which surprised me a bit. The bad day was caused by some major rudeness from another professor across campus, whom I've never met, but gave me the vague feeling that a "conflict" might be in my near future. That was early Monday morning, and I had a similiar rude experience with another professor last week so it was hard to take it lightly. For the record, the rudeness is not in my head, others read the emails for both instances, and had similar feelings, and my department head offered to back me up in both situations, and took great care to make sure that I knew that I had done nothing out of line to deserve this treatment. Last week's situation was resolved; not to my liking, but I at least stood my ground and carried it out to the best of my abilities, without having pissed anyone off. A skill that I am rapidly learning to master.
Tuesday's grant news was very good and it's hard to get knocked down off that high. Even a killer sinus headache that stuck around for most of the rest of the week didn't completely ruin my days. Neither did the faculty meeting for that matter. The grant also required me to get back in touch with the collaborators and the joy of science was reignited. It also reminded me that I can pick up the phone and have someone to work with and comiserate with a bit, which made me feel less alone. It is important to keep those professional/friendly contacts alive, especially since I haven't really made any at the new U yet. Teaching could have gone better this week, but it wasn't dreadful, I'm still new and I'm still learning, everyone says that you will improve your teaching with time and practice. The students tell me they are learning, so that's what really matters.
Today was good. I did some socialization with the other knitters on campus, which was very nice. Several in my regular knit night are grad students here, so they are going through what I went through a few years back, are headed towards what I'm going through now, and they knit, so there is always lots to talk about :) They are much closer to my age then any of the faculty I see on a regular basis (by about 15 years or so) and I enjoy spending time with them and they've been super nice to me, even if I am an old woman!
I still feel like I'm behind on my work, but I think in some sense ever faculty feels like that all the time. The thing is no one says it.
So there you have it. I like that I'm starting this experiment on a positive note. I know that not every week will have more good than bad, but I don't feel like I'm in the hole or anything.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Riding the Roller Coaster
You might have been able to guess from the snarky edition last week that things weren't going so well around here. This is both the complete truth and a blatant lie at the same time. It is the enigma we all know as life. Yesterday was bad (bad enough for me to start looking at job postings), today is good (NSF grant! woohoo!), and it's anyone's guess what tomorrow will hold. It's a roller coaster with the ups and downs coming faster than you can handle. Mornings can be good, one email can change it all and make you feel like the gum on the bottom of someone's shoe. I've always maintained a "c'est la vie" mostly optimistic attitude, beleiving that as long as the good outweighed the bad, I was leading a quality life and couldn't really ask for much more.
Here's the thing: What to do when the ups and downs are just about equal, or the balance starts to tip and your're feeling like you want off the ride more often than you are enjoying it? Is it just a rough patch? Does the long term average count for more? Or is it an indication that it's time to take a long hard look and figure out what's causing the imbalance?
There have been times in my life when I knew a change was required. The balance was clearly tipped and the long term average just wasn't ever going to make it ok. I've always been pretty good about knowing myself well enough to know what was right and what was wrong, for me and then taking the steps to fix it. I do beleive that to some extent our fate is in our own hands, so I rarely take the wait an see approach, preferring to be a little more pro-active in my life.
But here I am on a rollar coaster bigger, scarier and more stressful than I've been on before, and I'm not sure I like it, and I'm not sure I want to ride it until it's over. (I guess all new rollar coasters feel that way the first time you ride them, but once you survive they feel like kiddie rides in the rear-view mirror, but still...)
We are just shy of 6 months post move so I no longer consider my life to be "in transition". You see, to me the rules of self-evaluation don't apply to the transistion periods, all bets are off.
When I discuss this situation with others who have riden on the tenure track, they say the first year is just like that, give it a year before making any drastic decisions. So as difficult as it might be I'll give it the year, but I need a plan.
So, here's my plan, in a pseudo-scientific manor, I'm going to keep track, (mostly) day by day. Good, bad, ugly, ok. I'm going to keep track of why good, bad, ugly, or ok (i.e. is is my doing or someone elses that I can learn to shrug off) and I"m going to try to tell the stories behind the good, bad, ugly, and ok. I'm going to take a tally. Then we'll see where we are.
This is the roller coast we call the tenure track. My internal optimistic, hopes (and very nearly beleives) that this will be an inspirational activity for any tenure track riders just slightly behind me, but we'll see, I don't like my science to be tainted by preconceived notions, then it's not science :)
Here's the thing: What to do when the ups and downs are just about equal, or the balance starts to tip and your're feeling like you want off the ride more often than you are enjoying it? Is it just a rough patch? Does the long term average count for more? Or is it an indication that it's time to take a long hard look and figure out what's causing the imbalance?
There have been times in my life when I knew a change was required. The balance was clearly tipped and the long term average just wasn't ever going to make it ok. I've always been pretty good about knowing myself well enough to know what was right and what was wrong, for me and then taking the steps to fix it. I do beleive that to some extent our fate is in our own hands, so I rarely take the wait an see approach, preferring to be a little more pro-active in my life.
But here I am on a rollar coaster bigger, scarier and more stressful than I've been on before, and I'm not sure I like it, and I'm not sure I want to ride it until it's over. (I guess all new rollar coasters feel that way the first time you ride them, but once you survive they feel like kiddie rides in the rear-view mirror, but still...)
We are just shy of 6 months post move so I no longer consider my life to be "in transition". You see, to me the rules of self-evaluation don't apply to the transistion periods, all bets are off.
When I discuss this situation with others who have riden on the tenure track, they say the first year is just like that, give it a year before making any drastic decisions. So as difficult as it might be I'll give it the year, but I need a plan.
So, here's my plan, in a pseudo-scientific manor, I'm going to keep track, (mostly) day by day. Good, bad, ugly, ok. I'm going to keep track of why good, bad, ugly, or ok (i.e. is is my doing or someone elses that I can learn to shrug off) and I"m going to try to tell the stories behind the good, bad, ugly, and ok. I'm going to take a tally. Then we'll see where we are.
This is the roller coast we call the tenure track. My internal optimistic, hopes (and very nearly beleives) that this will be an inspirational activity for any tenure track riders just slightly behind me, but we'll see, I don't like my science to be tainted by preconceived notions, then it's not science :)
Labels:
academic life,
good day,
random musings,
the roller coaster
Saturday, January 24, 2009
good saturday
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
What I did on my winter break AKA the yarn ball of doom
For the New Year, I'm not going to make resolutions or announce goals or anything this year, but rather provide a story about one of those things that can only happen to me, because they seem to be quite popular among my readers. Just think of me as comic relief. :)
I was fortunate enough to have enough time allowed away from the University to spend a substantial amount of my winter break home with my family. My dad had some surgery right before the holidays and he was in recovery mode during my visit (comical right from the start, no?...he's fine btw, and I don't really want to go in more details about it on the blog, but I will happily report that he'll be good as new soon) What the surgery meant for me was that instead of the usual exhaustive running around that accompanies the holiday's I was given a free pass to stay in and help out Dad and Mom in a low key holiday/recovery scenario. I honestly can't remember the last time I spent this much time in the family homestead and while it was imposed under less than ideal circumstances, it was just what my soul needed to recover from what has been one of the toughest years I can remember. (6 interviews, the ill fated field project, more time away from home than at it, a 1500 mile move, the tumultuous first month's of tenure track, the culture shock of a less than friendly university, dad's surgery and whatever else I'm blocking out from the trauma of it all, phew, I'm happy to be moving on)
Mom and I spent some quality time with the fiber arts too. I brought with me a bunch of little projects in various states of completion to finish up. Those socks I talked about last time and that are still waiting for their photoshoot, and this scarf:
I was happily crocheting away on it and providing some moral support to Mom while she finished up a sweater that she has been knitting for a very long time. I learned to knit from both my Mom and my maternal grandmother at various stages in my youth. My grandmother was a prolific knitter and she churned out sweater after sweater in all styles, shapes and colors for all the time I knew her. My mother is quite a good knitter in her own right, but she never knit quite as much. Her craft of choice being more centered around the sewing machine, with which, she has skills I could never hope to master.
Anyways, she started this sweater awhile ago, thought she might not have enough yarn and put it aside, until my visit when I forced her to pick it up and finish it.
While snuggling up with some tea, a blanket and my crocheting. My mother revealled yet another unknown talent she had hidden in her arsenal. A technique for hand winding the most perfect center pull ball of yarn you have ever seen. Seriously it's a thing of beauty, almost better than my ball winder could do. See:
Sorry about the blur, I don't really know what was going on there.
While being distracted by this wonderful technique, I spilt a little tea. Just a little on the blanket and my scarf. Now, you should know, I'm a big tea drinker and a big clutz. I spill tea on something at least once a week. Usually myself on my way out the door, or in the car on my way to work. This weekly occurance is quickly remedied with a quick swipe of the hand or paper towel. The occasional residual stain is easily eliminated with a Tide pen or regular laundering. I quickly did my paper towel swipe on the scarf and the blanket and it was clearly not enough. The blanket was in the washing machine less than 5 minutes after the offending tea had touched it. The (unfinished) scarf was soaking in the sink with some mild detergent immeadiately after that. You know where this is going don't you.

Yup. Tea stains. Bad ones, the likes of which I have never seen. To make the cleaning process easier, I finished the scarf, I was only a few rows away anyways, and a few days later we went to work. First we consulted the internet. Lemon Juice. We soaked, we rinsed, we washed. No go. Then we called my sister, who consulted the bible of all things domestic. Vinegar. We soaked, we rinsed, we washed. No go. We drank some wine. Mom went into the depths of her library. Enzyme cleaner like Biz. No go. Not in the pre treatment paste like regime or the long term soaking one. We went to the big guns with the Shout pre treatment stick. No go. By the end of the night the kitchen looked like this:
And I still have a stained scarf. Damn my mother and her amazing yarn magic tricks! Oh well, you win some you loose some. I hear peroxide might work, but I haven't gotten up the gumption to give it a go yet.
I was fortunate enough to have enough time allowed away from the University to spend a substantial amount of my winter break home with my family. My dad had some surgery right before the holidays and he was in recovery mode during my visit (comical right from the start, no?...he's fine btw, and I don't really want to go in more details about it on the blog, but I will happily report that he'll be good as new soon) What the surgery meant for me was that instead of the usual exhaustive running around that accompanies the holiday's I was given a free pass to stay in and help out Dad and Mom in a low key holiday/recovery scenario. I honestly can't remember the last time I spent this much time in the family homestead and while it was imposed under less than ideal circumstances, it was just what my soul needed to recover from what has been one of the toughest years I can remember. (6 interviews, the ill fated field project, more time away from home than at it, a 1500 mile move, the tumultuous first month's of tenure track, the culture shock of a less than friendly university, dad's surgery and whatever else I'm blocking out from the trauma of it all, phew, I'm happy to be moving on)
Mom and I spent some quality time with the fiber arts too. I brought with me a bunch of little projects in various states of completion to finish up. Those socks I talked about last time and that are still waiting for their photoshoot, and this scarf:
Anyways, she started this sweater awhile ago, thought she might not have enough yarn and put it aside, until my visit when I forced her to pick it up and finish it.
While snuggling up with some tea, a blanket and my crocheting. My mother revealled yet another unknown talent she had hidden in her arsenal. A technique for hand winding the most perfect center pull ball of yarn you have ever seen. Seriously it's a thing of beauty, almost better than my ball winder could do. See:
While being distracted by this wonderful technique, I spilt a little tea. Just a little on the blanket and my scarf. Now, you should know, I'm a big tea drinker and a big clutz. I spill tea on something at least once a week. Usually myself on my way out the door, or in the car on my way to work. This weekly occurance is quickly remedied with a quick swipe of the hand or paper towel. The occasional residual stain is easily eliminated with a Tide pen or regular laundering. I quickly did my paper towel swipe on the scarf and the blanket and it was clearly not enough. The blanket was in the washing machine less than 5 minutes after the offending tea had touched it. The (unfinished) scarf was soaking in the sink with some mild detergent immeadiately after that. You know where this is going don't you.
Yup. Tea stains. Bad ones, the likes of which I have never seen. To make the cleaning process easier, I finished the scarf, I was only a few rows away anyways, and a few days later we went to work. First we consulted the internet. Lemon Juice. We soaked, we rinsed, we washed. No go. Then we called my sister, who consulted the bible of all things domestic. Vinegar. We soaked, we rinsed, we washed. No go. We drank some wine. Mom went into the depths of her library. Enzyme cleaner like Biz. No go. Not in the pre treatment paste like regime or the long term soaking one. We went to the big guns with the Shout pre treatment stick. No go. By the end of the night the kitchen looked like this:
And I still have a stained scarf. Damn my mother and her amazing yarn magic tricks! Oh well, you win some you loose some. I hear peroxide might work, but I haven't gotten up the gumption to give it a go yet.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Choosing a School: Tips for New Faculty. The snarky edition
I hate it here. I hate it here. I hate it here. Why can't I have magical shoes to click my heels and go home. These suede boots I've got on are hot, but I'd take magic over hot any day.
There now it's out of my system. I don't hate it here. The newness just makes every stupid inconvenience boil my blood just faster than necessary. I thought that I was at a football school. It's January, we don't play Football in January, bowl season is over, campus is safe again. I should be able to be at my office any time without fear of the traffic-sports clusterf*@&. Buzz. WRONG! Having stayed late at the office today to prep for class tomorrow (I'm finding new an unique challenges associated with teaching to the much smaller class size at my much larger U-no the irony is not lost on me), I was shocked to be stuck in campus traffic at 9:00 pm. Which is when it dawned on me that we are also a basketball school. Ugh. Haveing spent the majority of my academic breeding at the Mecca of College Basketball, I should know better than to stay late on campus on a bball game night. I adeptly scheduled around these events for years. Now that I know that this situation exisits, I can adapt, but for the love of god why didn't anyone warn me????
In light of this new development (and a few others of recent weeks) I present my top three tips for choosing a tenure track faculty position...should you of course find yourself luckier than I and with an actual choice...unlikely in this current economic time, I know, but I'm sure you lucky ones are out there, and I'm equally sure that you are reading my little blog. ;)
1) The two-body situation. (I know I promised more on this topic and really it's coming). Negotitate it up front. Ask for a dual career office, if they hedge, don't have one, or try to brush you off, get uppity.
2) Start-up funds. Make sure that a) they aren't in any way tied to the stock market in some hinky incomprehensible funding sort of way and b) that they won't be the first thing attacked in budget cuts leaving you with plans you may not be able to follow through on.
3) Sports. Ask the real questions. How will the sports teams impact my chances of tenure? How often will I be unable to get to or from campus in a reasonable time frame because of sporting events. How many home games are there? Should I plan my teaching around them in order to get the best possible ratings (e.g. no exams the week before or after homecoming, opening game, senior night, etc.) From my own personal experience I would shy away from any University that has won or come very close to a National Championship in the last 5 years and those that are > 1 hour away from any other professional sporting teams, making the U the defacto team spirit for all of the surrounding population.
I wonder if there is a correlation between home games and tenure rates? Maybe I should do a study. Do you think I could get grant money for that? If I could my chances of tenure would really go up, but then that would skew the results. Two complicated. I'll just settle with the N=1 sample I have now. Yes, tenure is impacted by sports. Of course, with such a small sample size, it wouldn't hold up to peer-review...but hey it's my blog, I don't have go through peer review. I save that hell for my real life. :)
There now it's out of my system. I don't hate it here. The newness just makes every stupid inconvenience boil my blood just faster than necessary. I thought that I was at a football school. It's January, we don't play Football in January, bowl season is over, campus is safe again. I should be able to be at my office any time without fear of the traffic-sports clusterf*@&. Buzz. WRONG! Having stayed late at the office today to prep for class tomorrow (I'm finding new an unique challenges associated with teaching to the much smaller class size at my much larger U-no the irony is not lost on me), I was shocked to be stuck in campus traffic at 9:00 pm. Which is when it dawned on me that we are also a basketball school. Ugh. Haveing spent the majority of my academic breeding at the Mecca of College Basketball, I should know better than to stay late on campus on a bball game night. I adeptly scheduled around these events for years. Now that I know that this situation exisits, I can adapt, but for the love of god why didn't anyone warn me????
In light of this new development (and a few others of recent weeks) I present my top three tips for choosing a tenure track faculty position...should you of course find yourself luckier than I and with an actual choice...unlikely in this current economic time, I know, but I'm sure you lucky ones are out there, and I'm equally sure that you are reading my little blog. ;)
1) The two-body situation. (I know I promised more on this topic and really it's coming). Negotitate it up front. Ask for a dual career office, if they hedge, don't have one, or try to brush you off, get uppity.
2) Start-up funds. Make sure that a) they aren't in any way tied to the stock market in some hinky incomprehensible funding sort of way and b) that they won't be the first thing attacked in budget cuts leaving you with plans you may not be able to follow through on.
3) Sports. Ask the real questions. How will the sports teams impact my chances of tenure? How often will I be unable to get to or from campus in a reasonable time frame because of sporting events. How many home games are there? Should I plan my teaching around them in order to get the best possible ratings (e.g. no exams the week before or after homecoming, opening game, senior night, etc.) From my own personal experience I would shy away from any University that has won or come very close to a National Championship in the last 5 years and those that are > 1 hour away from any other professional sporting teams, making the U the defacto team spirit for all of the surrounding population.
I wonder if there is a correlation between home games and tenure rates? Maybe I should do a study. Do you think I could get grant money for that? If I could my chances of tenure would really go up, but then that would skew the results. Two complicated. I'll just settle with the N=1 sample I have now. Yes, tenure is impacted by sports. Of course, with such a small sample size, it wouldn't hold up to peer-review...but hey it's my blog, I don't have go through peer review. I save that hell for my real life. :)
My Wordle
Came across this today and needing to get my head outside of the depressing world of academic budget cuts, and re-budgeting under the potential of losing half of my start up money. I took a few minutes and gave it a try.
I limited to the top 50 words on from this blog. I was surprised, I would have guessed that there would be some science or academic like words in there. I thought that I had a pretty even balance of the science and craft, but I must prefer to talk about the craft rather than the science.
If you need a distraction go play, it's fun.
I limited to the top 50 words on from this blog. I was surprised, I would have guessed that there would be some science or academic like words in there. I thought that I had a pretty even balance of the science and craft, but I must prefer to talk about the craft rather than the science. If you need a distraction go play, it's fun.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Under the wire
Hi! Welcome to the New Year. I have many random tidbits that will be posted over the next few weeks in the truely random fashion that my brain works in.
First up: Socks. Remember those 6 pairs of socks I was going to make in 2008? Well I did it, just under the wire the last toe was kitchnered and the ends were woven in on December 30. Just shy of my personal deadline. I actually knit 15 individual socks this year, but three are still mateless.
Here's the skinny on two of them. The third is waiting for a photoshoot and possibly a full pattern release type thing.
Andalusion Socks. I'm calling them that because I based them off of the stitch pattern I found here. This were for my dear husband who love his socks more than he really needs to. He was quite sad when the first half of the year was producing socks for everyone but him, but he was pretty happy with the results. I didn't follow a pattern for this, just shoved the stitch pattern onto a 72 stitch standard top down sock on size 1 needles. I started off with about an inch of 1x1 rib. The yarn is my favorite workhouse sock yarn Trekking XXL, which was accidently* purchased at Webs sometime 2007.
I finished them sometime in July. The first I distinctly remember finishing when I briefly saw my husband in Florida in May for the fitting. They were mostly knit on airplanes. I thought about doing the whole pattern write up thing, which is why it's taken so long for them to make an appearance on the blog. I found it a really fun pattern to work up, not as boring at straight stockinette stitch, but super easy to remember. Just enough visual interest for a funky psuedo-striping yarn like this one. But, then as they saw more wear, I don't think they fit as well as they should and although hub denys it, they fall down, so I decided that it's not really a worthy "pattern" in that sense. If you like it just make a regular plain vanilla sock like the YH does but do a knit one purl one on every 4th round.
Fancy Silk Sock for a Child of 5 or 6 years. From my favorite sock book. There is just something so cool about these old patterns finding new life. Sometimes I think I have an old soul and that's why I like the old stuff. Sometimes I think I like the connection with the past it reminds me of all the history that forms a person (family, culture, etc.). Anyways, this is the the 3rd pattern I've made from this book and I'm working on my fourth now. These were my mom's pair for this year. She had previously expressed that her other "woolies" were a bit warm for everyday wear so they didn't see the light of day as often as they might, so I opted for this lace pattern, to give a little more breathing room. Although I think that in my mind these were picked out for mom the minute I saw them in the book. I used some Valley Yarns Franklin in color blueberry. Loved the yarn and loved the pattern, although the scallopy edge was bit finicky to start with, but it's only for a few rows so it's not a big deal. I eliminated the double decrease thingy on the foot section because I thought it might be uncomfortable in shoes.

While I was home for the holidays I also got mom to do a photo shoot with the original "woolies" as she calls them since they never had blog time when I made them two years ago.
They are the Handpaint Highlights pattern from 101 One Skein Wonders (the original one), with Fyberspates Sock Yarn in color "Foxglove". I don't think you can get this yarn anymore, it was when she was just new and it's not even superwash.

So there you have it, the 2008 sock round up. Now it's time to start the sock queue up again for 09. Sis you're up next!
*The scene in the checkout line with my friend was something like this. Friend: do you think my BF would wear socks made out of this or is it too wild. Me: why not? My husband would. Friend: but BF is quite picky. Me: Well then I don't know what to tell you. Friend (as my yarn is ringing up): Well if you're husband will wear it you should buy it. Bleep bleep, it's in my bag.
First up: Socks. Remember those 6 pairs of socks I was going to make in 2008? Well I did it, just under the wire the last toe was kitchnered and the ends were woven in on December 30. Just shy of my personal deadline. I actually knit 15 individual socks this year, but three are still mateless.
Here's the skinny on two of them. The third is waiting for a photoshoot and possibly a full pattern release type thing.
I finished them sometime in July. The first I distinctly remember finishing when I briefly saw my husband in Florida in May for the fitting. They were mostly knit on airplanes. I thought about doing the whole pattern write up thing, which is why it's taken so long for them to make an appearance on the blog. I found it a really fun pattern to work up, not as boring at straight stockinette stitch, but super easy to remember. Just enough visual interest for a funky psuedo-striping yarn like this one. But, then as they saw more wear, I don't think they fit as well as they should and although hub denys it, they fall down, so I decided that it's not really a worthy "pattern" in that sense. If you like it just make a regular plain vanilla sock like the YH does but do a knit one purl one on every 4th round.
Fancy Silk Sock for a Child of 5 or 6 years. From my favorite sock book. There is just something so cool about these old patterns finding new life. Sometimes I think I have an old soul and that's why I like the old stuff. Sometimes I think I like the connection with the past it reminds me of all the history that forms a person (family, culture, etc.). Anyways, this is the the 3rd pattern I've made from this book and I'm working on my fourth now. These were my mom's pair for this year. She had previously expressed that her other "woolies" were a bit warm for everyday wear so they didn't see the light of day as often as they might, so I opted for this lace pattern, to give a little more breathing room. Although I think that in my mind these were picked out for mom the minute I saw them in the book. I used some Valley Yarns Franklin in color blueberry. Loved the yarn and loved the pattern, although the scallopy edge was bit finicky to start with, but it's only for a few rows so it's not a big deal. I eliminated the double decrease thingy on the foot section because I thought it might be uncomfortable in shoes.

While I was home for the holidays I also got mom to do a photo shoot with the original "woolies" as she calls them since they never had blog time when I made them two years ago.
They are the Handpaint Highlights pattern from 101 One Skein Wonders (the original one), with Fyberspates Sock Yarn in color "Foxglove". I don't think you can get this yarn anymore, it was when she was just new and it's not even superwash.

So there you have it, the 2008 sock round up. Now it's time to start the sock queue up again for 09. Sis you're up next!
*The scene in the checkout line with my friend was something like this. Friend: do you think my BF would wear socks made out of this or is it too wild. Me: why not? My husband would. Friend: but BF is quite picky. Me: Well then I don't know what to tell you. Friend (as my yarn is ringing up): Well if you're husband will wear it you should buy it. Bleep bleep, it's in my bag.
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