Going Public

Well, I have some news to share. I will not be starting a tenure-track position in the fall. Of the 6 interviews I did this academic year, I was runner up in, yup, you guessed it all 6. I'm beginning to feel a bit like the Susan Lucci of academics.

There I said it.

This post has been ever evolving in my head. First it was going to be emotional because the emotions I'm feeling are intense, then it was going to be angry because there are some very unfair aspects of this outcome and I am pissed off, then it was going to be all girl power and screw the man, then for like a minute it was all strong and inspirational and we shall overcome, then an actual typed version was this sappy mess alternately apologizing and thanking my friends and family for the love and support they gave and I have squandered on a pipe dream.

The reality of this is that I'm a bit lost. The floor I talked about last time fell out and a rope has yet to appear (put some Indiana Jones music to that image and you are totally inside my head). It is difficult. But it is what it is. There may be blog silence for awhile because this is something I have to fight out inside my own head in my own time in my own way. The opposite may happen as well: this blog may become the outlet for some of the things that I need to deal with in this adventure we call life. Just know that I am ok, or I will be ok eventually, and don't worry, somehow that makes it worse.