For those non-academic types who read this blog, let's start with a definition. The Two Body Problem is what the academic world refers to as what results from the marriage of one PhD to another PhD. I'm using "marriage" here as an all encompassing term which includes, but is not limited to civil union, committed relationship, life partner or any legal or not legal term indicating the commitment of two PhDs to spend the social/non-professional aspects of their lives together.
Some of you unfamiliar with the Two Body Problem may be asking yourselves, what is this crazy girl talking about? Marriages are not a "problem". Ah yes, in the normal world a marriage is generally a good thing, it promotes happiness among the members, in some cases procreates the species, and fosters love and understanding in a society which could use more of that. You see, it's not the marriage per se that is the problem. Smart people, even those who have been silly enough to spend years in school and get a PhD, generally recognize the benefits of marriage, as long as it it with another non-PhD. In fact, I've had more than one full professor tell me that I better find a wife if I plan to get tenure. Wife in this case meaning someone who will take care of all the non-academic aspects of my life, because while on the tenure track we should be so focused on our work that we need someone who will remind us to perform normal functions like eating and bathing. Personally, I have always managed to eat and bathe at regular intervals, although I will admit that what consitutes a meal in my world would not be considered so by "normal" people standards.
The Two Body Problem, refers not to the actual union of PhDs, but to the academic worlds inability to be flexible enough to allow for the employment of both members of the union. Don't believe this could actually be a problem? Think that we just find jobs like the rest of the world? Well, we don't. I invite you to read all of my prior posts concerning the topic of my own job search. Don't want to take my word for it? Don't. Take theirs or theirs or theirs. Don't think it's a big problem? Well there's been books written about it, and the statistics are staggering. I'll let you google around a bit and not bore you with the numbers.
So if it's so well known why am I bothering to write about it? Well, because it's on my mind, and it's my blog to talk about what's on my mind. I don't have any solutions. I have ideas, but no solutions. I'm not going to give advice, for two reasons: 1) we haven't figured it out yet so I have none to give and 2) none of the advice given to me has done any good so I'm not sure good advice exists. I guess I'm just putting some personal thoughts and experiences out there in the hopes that someone will gain something from it. Also, our current situation may jade the conversation a little bit, so you are fairly warned. Since this post is pretty long as it is, I'm going to let it serve as merely an introduction and a bit of a blog interactive process.
Over the next few weeks I'm planning posts on the following topics.
1) Options commonly presented to two-body couples and my thoughts on their practicality.
2) What Universities are/should be doing about the two-body problem and where I think they are failing.
and...here's were we get interactive...what do you want to hear about? Is there something that you want to know about becoming a two-body problem? Something I might know, something I might want to consider/research/explore. Leave a comment. I'd love to know what others think up front.
It is possible to receive tenure - at least at a smaller less competitive school - and retain one's sanity and personal hygiene without a significant other. I did it.
ReplyDeleteBut I suspect it's harder.
I have a colleague who tells me he pays people to do much of what the "traditional" wife would do - he hires a house cleaner, he sends all his laundry out to be done, he eats most of his meals out. I cannot bring myself to do this.
I will say there's another aspect to the two-body problem I hadn't really considered before it was too late: that is, if you are not part of a committed relationship before entering a tenure track program, dating is damn near impossible. At least in a smaller community: there are "visibility" issues, there are issues of not-being-able-to-date someone employed by the same place, and, most importantly, there are time issues. I honestly do not have time for a relationship and everything else I do. I am not sure what I would jettison to make room for one if the heavens suddenly opened up and Mr. Perfect appeared. (Not that that's likely to happen).
Right now I'm ignoring the problem and hoping it will work out! It is just too bad it is such an issue! My department just said be prepared to live apart for a significant amount of time. Is my career really worth that? because it sounds like my marriage or my career...which is an easy choice!
ReplyDelete