The two-body problem part 7: Introducing the Husband

After the reality sunk in. We cautiously entered into negotiations. Remember, that one job doesn't make our situation better, we needed two.

There is a lot of advice on how to handle the two-body situation with a perspective employer. This advice ranges from "don't wear a wedding ring on the interview" to "be upfront from day 1".

Last time, I didn't bring it up, but I answered any questions that came up.* When I was offered the position here, I took it, but started asking about possibilities for hub in my initial conversations with the department head.

Since we all know that that approach didn't work, and two-jobs was necessary for us to move again, I took a new tactic this time. I asked to meet with the dual career office during my interview. In the part when they ask, "is there anyone you'd like to meet while you are here". "Yes, the dual career office to explore possibilities for my husband either within the university or the local community" (remember, I had done my research, I knew they had one).

I wasn't able to have a meeting during my interview, but it cleared the air, everyone knew the score going in, and I discussed the situation earnestly with the department head during my exit interview**. It was not awkward at all. When you are pre-tenure and looking for a new position, there has to be a reason. The interviewers are trying to tease out if it is a legitimate one, or if you are a dud. I was prepared for this and was able to answer honestly on both fronts. Professionally: "My current department isn't a good fit for reasons x, y and z " Personally "my husband still hasn't found a job" To my surprise, this was often met with: "yes, we know your current U is dysfunctional", "you seem like and odd fit for that program, how did you end up there anyways", "No PhD program!" and "oh we have a great dual career program"

When it came time to enter negotiations, it was a simple as "yes, I'd like to negotiate in good faith with the understanding that some type of employment for my husband will be a deciding factor". The department head asked the Provost and the initial offer came back with a funded one-year post-doc for hub and a trip for him to visit and explore the long-term options on and off campus.

It was as easy as that. In this case, my moral compass what dead on right: Honesty is the best policy.


*legally they aren't supposed to ask, every interview I went on they did, some overtly and uncomfortably, some naturally when I slipped and said something like "we own our house".

**This is the point after the two days where everyone has felt you out and gossiped about you and the department head is going to talk numbers and tell you when they are going to make a decision. This is the most important moment of the interview, you can usually get a strong feeling about the department's feeling for you and this is where you should lay the groundwork for start up needs and what not.