the biggest lie - part 2

I feel  a little bit like I should apologize for that last post. It was...well....a bit angry.  But, then when I think about that I get even angrier.  Because the second part of the big lie is this:  people make you feel like somehow it's your fault.  Sure they express some sympathy, often coupled with some mumbled words of encouragement.  But it's more then readily obvious that what they are really thinking...and likely what you are all really thinking is either a) this crazy ass-b**^$h clearly made some really bad choices, I'll nod and smile, but really she dug this hole for herself - that could never happen to me. or b) why is she whining so much at least she's the one who choose to move, really it's her fault.   

Well world, stop lying to yourself.  This could happen to you too.  It was not our fault.  In fact we were guilty of nothing more than bad timing.  Actually there is a whole cohort of people who just happen to have bad timing. That's not our fault.  We made the best decisions that we could. Based on this huge lie.  A lie so big that most of the world holds it as truth - as I once did.  The simple sad fact is this: we will never have it as good as we were raised to believe we would.  We won't retire when we thought we would. We won't be able to send our kids to college like we thought we would.  In fact, we might not even be able to afford kids at all.  Straight-up we just got screwed.  A whole damn generation of us.  If you are part of my generation and you didn't get screwed, it's time to wake up and realize that you are just lucky.  One different decision, one different perfectly rational viable choice and you could be me.  It's just dumb luck, that's all.   Dumb luck that I thought that maybe I would try to contribute to the world by teaching the next generation - so that they could find jobs.

And when it comes down to it that's what's really eating me.  That universal belief that the lie perpetuates and the world or people I meet project right back at me:  That I've done something wrong.  Or if you believe in Karma or fate or whatever I must have brought this upon myself. Well I'll admit that I'm not a saint, but I'm certainly not the devil either.  And if I get another life - man I'm going to whoop it up and make every bad, irresponsible choice I can think of, because it certainly doesn't seem to make a difference to keep making the rational ones.

So here it is:

Dear World,

I know that we all live with our choices, and I live with mine everyday.  I don't regret them and 90% of you would have made the same ones in my shoes.  Yes, I chose to become a professor and I knew that would require me to move.  Yes, I chose to move again, because the financial nightmare of owning two houses is actually preferable to the horrid sexual harassment and all around just crappy treatment I received at my old job.  I know what I've done to myself.  Sometimes I get a little b*(%chy about it and for that I apologize.  But just shut the hell up because I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG.

Thanks,
Dr. Rini

P.S. Just so you don't think I've lost my sparkling personality entirely - mostly I'm just all out of anything good on this particular issue - I leave you with this fantastic link found via ashpags on pinterest today.  I'm trying to track down a way to buy it for my office - cause you know I teach all about air being "something".