How my healthcare is shortening my life

Today I called a doctor's office to set up a physical.  14 minutes and 27 seconds later, I hung up the phone. I was in tears and I didn't have an appointment.

This seemingly simple task, which should, in theory, be making me healthier in the long term, has now added stress and anxiety.  I'm sure that the stress is killing all of my cells just a little faster than nature does on it's own.

What happened? Why is it that, I, an intelligent well-educated women, can't make a doctor's appointment? Well, I'm not entirely sure of all the details, but it was something about the insurance doesn't cover it, and the cost, and but when my husband came we didn't pay that,  but that's because he had another condition so it wasn't just a "physical" and the bloodwork at our lab  (>$200) versus the lab across campus ($15-and you pick up the results on the 2nd floor, we're on the 3rd). Finally when I said I would pay whatever, we got to picking a date, there was a question about birth control and well then, if you get pregnant we can't take care of you would need to see an OBGYN instead and that's two new patient visits in a year and that's not allowed and ?!?!?!?!?!  I can recommend and OBGYN, you should call them instead, what hospital would you like to have your baby at if you did get pregnant?  Huh? What?

Before you all freak out, I am not pregnant.  I'm not planning to be, we've been batting around the idea.  Let's say that we have always known we wanted a kid "someday" and "someday" is starting to seem closer. Right now, I just need a doctor to check my blood, bang my knees and look down my throat, or whatever a physical constitutes these day.  I know most people don't do these things, but I have enough family history and friends with freaky illnesses that I think it's worth doing it every now and then.

To be honest I'm so confused  and there are so many things wrong with this situation, I don't even know where to start.  My blood pressure is raised, I want to cry more and I feel pretty crappy, all from trying to make sure I was healthy.   We live in a stupid world.  I had really bad experiences with doctors were we lived before this. I thought that it was just the particular location, my "northern" accent, or something else- but maybe it's just me.

Given my past experiences, I had a lot of anxiety about even picking up the phone, which is why I waited so long to do it.  This time, I did my research,  my husband has been seeing this doctor, many of my colleagues have been seeing this doctor, so, I bit the bullet, called the number and said exactly what everyone told me I needed to say to access the services I wanted. Yet still, I'm not getting those services.

We don't have stellar insurance here, I work for the state, and there is a substantial out-of-pocket amount (~$2500 per person) that you pay before you get covered.  They cover really big stuff, but not the stuff most people actually need in order to avoid getting to the really big stuff.  That's sucky model, but at least it's something.  I suppose something is better than nothing.  Although until I actually see a doctor, I feel like actually I have nothing.

I'm rambling, I know, but there has been a lot of talk lately about "healthcare reform" and "access to healthcare".  If you don't think that we need it in this country, if you don't think that it's important and that really it's only going to help poor people and screw over the rich, you are wrong.

So healthcare naysayers take this nugget of information:  I'm a university professor in my mid-30's with a "good health plan" and it seems that even I don't have "access to healthcare".