My favorite candidate revealed

Last week, when I started these musings, I mentioned that although I hadn't been paying attention, I did have a candidate in mind. I promise full disclosure so here it is.

I have had a love/hate relationship with Hillary Clinton since I shook her hand when I was 14. It was 1993, and the newly elected President and his wife came to speak to the National Education Association convention in San Francisco. After the speech, both Bill and Hillary walked along the front row shaking hands, where my 11 year old sister and I were standing on chairs for the chance to be that lucky. The whole thing was kind of chaotic, so my memories are also that way. What I do remember a really warm and caring smile that accompanied that handshake. The brief moment was rapidly replaced with the chaos of being knocked over by some burly secret service agents, but she left a positive impression on me. That I remember well.

I will admit childhood perceptions are not the best way to choose a candidate. But when this guy came to talk to my 5th grade class, I thought he was a "bad man". Turns out I was right, so I guess I was a fairly perceptive child. I have a precedent for trusting my younger self.

Anyways, during the debacle that plagued Clinton's presidency, my love for Hillary waned a bit. I lost a touch of respect for her "stand by your man" attitude and the praise she received for it. It did not fit with the strong woman I thought she was. To me, strong women are independent women, and strong women don't put up with men who disrespect them. So I thought standing by her man was crap. I thought it was the wrong message to send to women who were in bad relationships. I did think that it was mostly a political move, but I didn't agree with it. Reality was that I never actually knew why she was doing it, I just saw what the media wanted me to see. I was in college, pursuing a degree in a man's world, and a bit feisty about being a strong woman.

Now, time has passed, and she has been a successful senator, I almost forget she's even married and I'm pretty impressed that a women made it this far in the race. I think she would make a great president, I think she has the experience and the know how to actually get something done in the job and I'd feel safe with her at the helm. I also think that it's about time we could catch up the the rest of the world and acknowledge that women can do the job as well as men. Chile, The Philippines, England, and others I'm sure have all come to terms with this, so we really are not all that progressive. But, we already know how I feel about women's rights.

So this is were I stand going into this primary. On an emotional level, I want Hillary to win. But, my logic takes over. Just because one party might be progressive enough, doesn't mean the whole country is. Sadly, I don't think we will elect a women president. But I'm an equal opportunity pessimist: I don't think that we will elect a black president either. Especially, a relatively young, relatively inexperienced one. I think Obama is great too. He might just be able to change the world, but in reality the president in only one part of our government. I'm not convinced he has the know how to make the rest of the wheels turn. I think that Hillary might, but she might just be stonewalled by the ol boy's club as well.

So, my logic tells me that if I want to see a democrat in power, I shouldn't vote for either of them, and my preference for experience tells me Bill Richardson would be good choice. Ahh, there's the rub. Vote with my beliefs, or gamble for a winner? 23 days left to make a decision.